⚠️ NB. ⚠️ If someone you follow on social media consistently posts/says things which do not align to your values/thinking, or make you feel inadequate, or uncomfortable – unfollow them. If they do this in real life too – distance yourself.
I wrote this blog post in response to the LinkedIn post below and I would really like to know your thoughts because I think that this topic lends itself to deeper conversations.
Referencing “this platform” as LinkedIn…
While I absolutely agree with the last paragraph in Hannah’s post and I think I understand the point she is trying to make, I don’t agree that “Blanket advice on this platform comes from a place of privilege.”
Maybe because:
- I don’t believe all of the statements she references are blanket statements.
- Advice can be both given and taken completely out of context.
- I do believe that advice usually comes from a place of personal experience
- LinkedIn (like all social media) offers only a small peek into your life/mind.
- People could interpret things differently, and this could lead to making assumptions, which could lead to feeling offended.
- Advice can feel judgmental, like you’re not doing enough, when maybe you’re doing A LOT.
- Sometimes people say things they don’t mean, say things reactively, or don’t really think before they speak.
- A much deeper conversation needs to be had around these topics.
That said, I believe than when someone says:
➡️ “Put your mental health first”:
This is usually coming from a place of genuine care, or even personal experience. Maybe that person has had it rough too? Nobody is saying it’s easy but it is a reminder to take care of yourself too, even if there are only mere moments in your day that you can have to yourself. Self-care for me is sometimes just taking a bit longer to eat breakfast and appreciate how it tastes. Sometimes it’s just closing my eyes and taking a deep breath to focus on how I feel.
➡️ “We all have the same 24 hours”:
This said on its own is simply a fact, but of course how we use those hours is not always up to us. Life itself can be incredibly unpredictable from day to day and we all have different priorities, deliverables, expenses, and personal capabilities. Time management is not static, it is in a constant state of flux.
➡️ “You can do whatever you put your mind to”:
Depends on the context. My impression is this phrase implies determination and persistence, given your realistic capabilities. For example: it might take persistence and difficulty to find yourself a better job. If you want to be a science teacher and you don’t have the relevant qualifications, you might need a few more steps before you land yourself a science teaching job. But sometimes there are things we just can’t do and we need to find a way to accept this, no matter how long it takes. You can’t expect a fish to climb a tree, right?
I believe optimistic statements often used as reminders, motivators, and mantras, are usually used with good intention for: ourselves, those we care about, those in our care, or those we guide.
But then, we can’t forget the issue of toxic positivity, which makes us feel like we can’t/shouldn’t feel all of the emotions of the human experience.
Where is the medium between good intention and toxic positivity?
Yes, a lot of things are easier said than done. That’s why I think we all need:
- Support (Mental, emotional, spiritual, etc. From friends, family, colleagues, resources).
- To support each other.
- To learn to ask for help when or where we can.
- To help lighten each other’s load. Sometimes just talking about things makes them feel a bit easier.
- To listen to each other.
- To be more understanding.
We can’t help how we feel, but with practice we can learn to control how we react. What we do with our time is not always up to us, but with support we can try to find moments to prioritise our thoughts and feelings. Just be kind.
