Within the last 11 months alone, I’ve had 3 medical procedures, and technically stared death in the face twice.
So this is why I haven’t been around here much.
Last year was just… a lot. And the last two months alone already feels like I’ve lived another year. But geez I’m still grateful to be alive.
There have been countless what ifs to consider and a bit of mental spiralling, which I needed to snip in the bud.
So here we are.
To put things in perspective: I’ve always considered myself relatively healthy, so whenever something bad happened recently, I kept saying ‘but I’m healthy’. Until one day my mom said ‘you have to stop saying that’. Man oh man, but to admit to the complete opposite? Well that just hit different.
My last op was 20 years ago. Got my wisdom teeth removed and a canine exposed in preparation for braces. I came out looking like a chipmunk and all I wanted afterwards was a cheese pie, even though I could barely open my mouth, let alone chew. I tell you, self motivation is a wonderful thing because I ate that pie. I ate that pie. I made it happen! 😂
Anyhoo, fast forward twenty odd years, and it took awhile before I paid my health any real notice. Why do we do that to ourselves? Why is it so hard to give ourselves as much compassion and concern as we can give to those we love?
It started about 3 years ago, when I decided to go back to doing ballet for fun.
During each lesson, I would experience excruciating pain in my ankle and foot, and then struggle to walk for the following few days. Not exactly the fun I was looking for.
I assumed the issue was my decade old sprain playing its tricks, so I went for physio, and this subsequently led to a podiatrist visit. She explained that my right leg was shorter than my left leg, which was affecting my gait (the way one walks), but it could be managed. Wow, I was so relieved to finally get an answer!
Since then, I’ve been wearing foot orthotics, which are special shoe inserts to compensate for the length difference and eliminate this type of pain as much as possible.
This seemingly minor issue is what led me to start questioning ALL the other signs or symptoms we just ignore because we think they’re not that serious, or we don’t have the time to deal with, or we don’t want to complain about. Especially as women, or one in pain, God forbid.
So I decided to pay greater attention to how my body physically felt. To go on somewhat of a journey. To see if I could connect some dots and make sense of other random ‘niggles’, like my persistent headaches (migraines and more – which would be a great name for a pharmacy if you ask me 😄).
But guess what? It led me to discover that I had cancer, osteoarthritis, ADHD, IBS, and sleep apnea.
I’ve thought about sharing this health journey before, but I just couldn’t. Until last night, or early this morning, I’m not really sure as I was still under the effects of anaesthesia from my last procedure.
So as you may have gathered, this is a deeply personal post that’s not about food, or anything fun. If anything, I hope you’re starting to consider the importance of your own health.
One day when I’m ready, I’ll share more about my personal health experiences. My only hope is that doing so will help others along the way to spot the signs that could have been so easily missed. And in turn, maybe you will also share your stories to normalise the stigma of simply not being ok.
